I make lists endlessly - not only to-dos but projects I think would be cool, books that I mean to read someday, movies that people have recommended to me. Things that I ought to remember if they are actually as cool/important/necessary as they seem when I’m noting them down. But I have to make the note anyway, otherwise a few months later I will be asking myself, “What was that book that I wanted to read about the thing, you know, that big thing, and the character seemed really interesting and maybe her name started with an R?” (Which inevitably means it starts with a Z or something that ought to have been more memorable than it was.) If I don’t write it down, it doesn’t get processed. So I make list after list.

Even “memorable” quotes are not exempt from the black holes in my memory. I read something and think, “That is so perfect! That fits my experience to a T!” But if I don’t write it down in my quote journal or on a sticky note, it doesn’t really stick with me. (Yes, I categorize my journals by type, and the quote journal is a particular favorite of mine. You should try it.)

All this is something that would be immediately obvious to you if you’ve ever stepped foot inside my office. Sticky notes, calendars, checklists, and sketches wallpaper my workspace. On the wall behind me, I have framed some particular favorite quotes that I like. The ones that I’m trying to keep in mind, though, are handwritten and mixed in with my wall of to-dos right in front of me:

Dinner with Mom and Dad on Thursday, don’t forget!
Lasagna in the fridge! - Small Group - 350 degrees for 30 - 45 min.
“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” - Lou Holtz
Create!
Pick up prescriptions on Wednesday after work.
“Let’s make better mistakes tomorrow.”
This year I choose JOY.

Most of those don’t mean anything to you, but I’m sure that last one caught your attention. More on that in a minute.

If I’m going to remember the words at all (at least the gist, since there’s a good chance I will forget the exact phrasing), I have to really dig into them, crack them apart like nutshells until I can get at the meaning inside. It’s never fully satisfying for me to just accept a phrase at face value if it’s one I need to really embrace. I can’t just say, “Okay, I choose joy this year” and it turn out better than last year. Choose how? What is joy?

Instead, I try to spend some time with the phrase in front of me: This year, I choose joy.

1. CHOOSE joy.

Before I worry about what joy is, I turn to the word that comes right before it: choose. Not chose, past tense. Not that I chose joy on January 8th and thus this year was great, no effort required. Choose joy. Present tense. Choosing joy is an active, intentional thing.

I should let you know at this point that joy is not an instinctive reaction in my life. I am particular and peculiar. I have serious expectations for things that are occasionally strange and often unreasonable. Like most people, I tend to think I’m right and get frustrated when I don’t get my way. I react poorly because I’m a grown-up toddler who can’t handle being tired or hungry (think way beyond hanger to hangry-crying and even to nonfunctional). I am also generally just a grumpy old man at heart. (“Get off my lawn!” “I don’t want to talk to all these strangers.” “My tomato soup costs HOW MUCH more if it’s not condensed? That’s ridiculous!”) No offense intended to grumpy old men.

Cheerful soul, aren’t I?

So when I find myself dealing with something I don’t like (not just irritations, but even upheavals and tragedies in my personal life), I should stop wondering where my joy is and reassess my verb tense. Have I been working on an  I-chose-joy-so-I-should-have-joy-already assumption? Probably. But like I reminded myself yesterday and like I will remind myself again tomorrow, I have to choose joy every single day. Every. Single. Day.

2. Choose JOY.

Okay. Present tense, “choose.” Got it.

So then what the heck is joy?
I struggled with this for a while, because I kept searching for the answer and just coming up with things that joy isn’t. Joy, as I’m coming to find, isn’t being happy all the time. It isn’t being some gleeful energetic cheerleader. It isn’t being some perfectly blissful Stepford Wife.

Joy, rather, is a combination of perspective and reaction. I didn’t just make this up, guys. I went to the Bible to try to figure out what joy was, because I got all the way into the second month of
the year where I was supposedly choosing it before I even knew how to explain it.

If you search “joy” in your preferred Bible app, you might find a lot about feasting and celebrating. Food certainly helps my outlook on life turn towards joy, but although I want to say “joy is food,” it’s not. So what is it?

Turning to my search, I found these three verses helped me most to decipher what joy might look like.

When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. (Psalm 94:18-19 NIV)
Joy is a thing from God.
Joy is the opposite of anxiety.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4 NIV)
Joy is a perspective.
Joy can be sought - and should be sought - during your times of suffering.

For the Lord your God will bless you in all your harvest and in all the work of your hands, and your joy will be complete. (Deuteronomy 16:15)
Joy comes from hard work.
Joy is hard work.

Joy is a combination of perspective and reaction. Those are both things that can be changed, but it takes time and effort (aka, hard work). They also feed into one another, so you have to work on both at the same time. If you keep your perspective aimed at God and trust in the good that God is working in your life, then you have less anxiety about the situations you face. Lower anxiety helps you react better. Better reactions help reinforce your knowledge that your perspective is beginning to align with God’s. That peaceful, hopeful, trusting, loving perspective you get when you turn towards God - that’s what joy grows from.

Even though my tendency is to react poorly in unfavorable situations, it’s something I can work on. I can remind myself of these things and head back in the direction of joy. Even if the situation is more than just some  frustration or disappointment, even if I lose everything in life. Even if I win no battles, keep no relationships, and end up with nothing that I originally wanted, I still have salvation. I have Jesus. I have His words to comfort me and bring me consolation.

I still have to remind myself of these things every day. Every time I react poorly. Every minute, it seems some days. I have to constantly re-root my joy in God instead of in this world and in my own self. That’s a hard task when I find myself spending less time with Him than I need to. The more I read, the more I pray, the more I talk to Him. The more I delve deeply into His words for the nourishment in their shells. The more I keep His words on my wall of reminders, constantly in front of me. The more I do these things, the easier I find it to remember where my joy really comes from.

As I remind myself of these things, as I spend more and more time with God, I find something remarkable happening: slowly, surely, my year is growing more joyful.

“Put yourself in the way of joy.”

While I was writing this, a quote I love kept niggling at my mind: “You have to put yourself in the way of joy.”

Where had I heard that? Where had I read that? It sounded like Elizabeth Gilbert, very Eat, Pray, Love. It wasn’t. Who was it? This was a thing, right? I googled and I googled.

I had the quote all wrong. Of course. Black holes again.

It was Cheryl Strayed, from Wild: “Put yourself in the way of beauty.” (0 for 2. Wrong on the author, although I had the journey-to-find-yourself aspect right. Wrong on the quote, although only off by one word. Typical.)

Even though I was a little off, what I want to leave you with is my misquote. And who knows, I might even write it on a post-it and hang it on my wall as if someone way more intelligent came up with it.

Choose joy, this year, if that’s your word. But make sure you don’t say you chose joy, say you choose it. Make yourself active in it. That’s step one.

Step two is the how: put yourself in the way of joy. Make it so you can’t get through your day without joy tripping over you. You will find it’s starting to make a mark on your year.